tHaNksGivIng TiMe!~

(Ok.. still a bit stunned here.. cos my previous, utterly long one got wiped out when my internet connection went kaput... but i MUST give thanks.. and i'd redo it)

pooh..

ok.. in accordance to my church having our Thanksgiving Worship session (and my sis pestering my to give thanks..).. i shall also have a lil' thanksgiving session..cos God has really blessed me in this year of mine in NS.. i have done things I neva would have dreamed myself capable of doing last time.. and really God's blessing were really poured out unto me this year.. So here are the highlights of the past year, or really.. the 5 MIRACLES that God performed on my life this year...

(1)BTP (Basic Trainfire Package) during BMT
This was really my first major obstacle or tribulation in BMT... one where I felt so completely helpless and panicked that I nearly flipped out...I remember shooting at night and scoring a literally ZERO for certain segments and I think my total score was like 2/16 or something...

GREAT...

I tried all methods to improve, tried hard to remember whatever the sergeants and whatever had said.. but boy.. as I kept trying to rationalize to people:

"Some people are just born bo-bo..."

.. but suck thumb lor.. everyone have to pass or else come back on the third day where everyone else is slacking and re-shoot.. sigh.. I was REALLY abyssmally BAD.. and this time, there was really nothing much a could do to help it.. I felt like it was really pure luck to shoot down a target already... and with the night scores being so teruk..

i had a horrid hong-gan feeling...

we reached back camp and got to sleep at arnd 0200HR (range is like dat).. and me, still in the panicked mode... sent out a SMS-plea to my family, requesting for an all out prayer support to really JUST be able to pass this dratted thing as painless as possible...

and surprisingly.. i got a reply!

it was from my sis.. who just couldn't sleep that night and checked the phone coincidentally.. and saw my message.. and immediately started praying for me.. miraculous ain't it?

so the day of the test came.. and well.. it WASN'T painless.. after rounds and rounds of re-shooting.. I was still very on-the-verge... with 9/16 as my highest score and well.. it meant i needed 7/16 for night...somehow God loves to play with us.. never really fully revealing everything until the last moment..

so i fidgeted the rest of the day away, praying hard for a magical 7.,, and night fell soon..

my night shoot.. AMAZINGLY scored 8!! I remembered feeling a momentous wave of relief spread over me when I gunned down my 7th target... was going to cheer liao... God gave me enough to pass... and not enough to BOAST... (knowing the arrogant me).. and so.. that was the first miracle..

(2)First IPPT Test in OCS
I remember this vividly too, as the test was scheduled to be just after Parent's Visiting Day in the morning, marking the end of 2 weeks in OCS... and well.. I had reason to be really low on confidence...

I was scared I wasn't going to be able to pull 6 chinup or run the passing time.. then kena KICKED OUT of OCS within the first two weeks.. i mean.. how could an officer cadet not even PASS?... so yeah.. i was panicking yet again, worried.. and well.. a dark cloud hung over me...

Furthermore, my peers around me were all like so darn fit and strong, all having like 14-20 pull-ups under their name, all gunning for 9.45 timing for 2.4", all aiming for gold.. whilst i was struggling to come to terms with the fact that I was going to have to match up with these "elite".. to RUN IN CADENCE with them and not die halfway... I was even having trouble clocking the required pull-ups every pull-up session before meals (I HATED THAT)... Not even 6... HOW!?!

And so the dreaded time came... did the static stations and came to pull-up with my palms SWEATING and me trying to pysch myself by chanting:

"6...6...6...just 6 God.."

... and really, watching the rest of my section do... wasn't really helping.. but my turn came.. and I really did 6!! HALLELUJIAH! who cares whether or not it was the lowest score and the instructor pretty much shook his head?.. I had passed.. and a wave of relief came again...

then came the run...

these peers of mine are SIMPLY not human.. they run 2.4" like SPRINTING the whole way and some dun even seem to be breaking a sweat! My respectable 12 minute timing in BMT and my happiness at being able to run continuously 6 rounds without stopping were swiftly crumbling down...

and so I ran... pretty soon there was a sizeable gap between me and the rest of the people but I just ran on...heck-caring how the rest ran... just running my own race and singing hymns along the way... and I felt as though God put wings on my feet...

I came in last.. but passed.. with a timing of 11.45... so phew! improved some more =)

(3)SOC (Veto for Service Term 2)
THIS one really brought me to my lowest of lows.. and really.. it was a HUMONGOUS OBSTACLE, casting a UNPRENETRATABLE DARK CLOUD over my days in ST2.. i was stressed out, worried, hopeless, really hating SOC and hoping I wouldn't have to re-service term and go through all the SHIT again...

it was really a terrible time.. people called it a buggeration, but then most cleared it and went on to prep for OCS Carnival games or just resting in bunk.. whilst I was desperately trying to pysch myself up and prep myself in every way possible, worried about blisters, falling out, malu-ating myself in front of others, and just plain sick of it all..

it was bad... my best timing up till then was 11.10...

passing was 9.30...

i was THAT far away... it was a terrifying thought... HOW in the world was i going to gather enough reserves to cut the time by like a minute and 40 seconds?! HOW!?! I had no answers, I was at wits end... Instructors pretty much had given me all the advice they could give... and so well.. it was pretty much left to God..

I prayed and prayed and prayed..my dad even placed this problem on the Prayer Watch that he circulated to the deacons and pastors... (he was deacon-chairman)

I would really require a MIRACLE...

then, further disaster struck... the test before the one I passed, I clocked an OCS-RECORD of the SLOWEST timing... something like 20 minutes odd... and well.. when I was readying myself for the reverse run-down practice... I felt a sense of utter hopelessness and DOOM..

I started tearing and like literally gave up liao... wondering why it had to be like this... why it was so tough.. people like Shiming had to pull me along to finish the SOC.. My hopes were all but shattered liao..

then the day came... due to the previous disaster, I could only really try my best and hope for the best.. I don't think I was even really thinking of passing... just improving my timing...but well.. TIME was running out too..

we started running... I fell behind...

halfway down.. the familiar fatigue set in and all my resolve started to fade away into pain.. PAIN and MISERY... it was getting too tough...

started on the obstacles.. passed the BLOODY WALL on the second try... by then i thought it was impossible to pass liao..

finished the obstacles surprisingly ahead of 2 people.. suddenly, I saw a glimmer of hope, when I realised the timing wasn't that bad...

started the run-down... died out again... got overtaken.. and time was REALLY running out...

"1 minute left!" Lta Toh shouted... "Hurry Up!"..

10 seconds left.. I was reaching the end... COME ON FRANK!!!.. I dashed for the end..

...

my timing? 9.29..

I JUST MADE IT.. ON THE DOT..

THANK GOD!!

--
(tired liao.. will write the next day tmr i guess..)
frAnk