blogger's block

hmm.. seems like i'm in a blogging crisis -- i've seemingly lost my creative flair (if i ever had one haha!).. and well.. i have a writer's block... =(

well.. this could also be due to other reasons, like cos my life in essence is pretty much almost as boring as peeling paint off walls the whole day..

no wait... peeling paint is pretty tiring ain't it? well.. my course just sit there the whole day and type, then go eat until fat then sit again..

ARRGGH! I DUN WANNA BE FAT!!!

MY THIGHS ARE BULGING OUT OF MY JEANS AGAIN!!!

-_-" X 20000

well..it depends on the individual lah... my course honestly can be like as terrible as watching a 100yr old granny move if u dun attempt to force SOME form of interest in it... i mean.. today we had a 2 hour lecture on creating some scoreboard thingy for organisations (apparently another of those high and lofty ideals learned by the high level officials of SAF)..

and honestly... i CANNOT believe how a group of sane men can spend 7 MONTHS sculpting a mission and vision, and some action plan etc for the organisation...

and still be sane after that.

i mean!? it's like they pore through the exact meaning of each and every word and carefully craft their mission and vision statements to ensure that it can be concretely gauged using KPIs (Key performance indicators).. and even this buggeration of KPIs is honestly one big muddling crap... something about lagging, leading and proxy KPIs...

and then the lecturer (who kept spitting at me cos i was in the front row) wanted us to craft our own life aim and use this system to gauge our success...

-_-

honestly, i wondered how i managed to muster that much fakeness to look suitably interested cos honestly.. HOW CAN ANYONE BE INTERESTED IN SUCH THINGS?!

ok.. maybe its just that i'm stupid and i can't understand some of the stuff, or that i find the whole motive of trying to quantify things that are pretty much unquantifiable is as silly as trying to feel your shadow or something....

What made me EVEN more surprised was that the people beside me were nodding away intelligently and EVEN ASKING QUESTIONS on why this particular PI is a proxy KPI... my gawd!!!

either they are honestly interested (which freaks me out) or they are darn good fakers...

i dunno lah.. i find all these planning silly.. cos like.. how you expect me to twist my life goal of

"to live a fulfilling and happy life"

into a concrete mission and vision statement? oh.. identify shareholders.. err.. GOD? ME?... err.. identify themes... ?!?!

oh forget it... maybe i ain't cut out to do such "MENTAL MODELS" and "SYSTEMS MANAGEMENT" thingy lah...

give such things to that guy beside me who was seemingly nodding away interested...

sigh... have i REALLY become STUPID?!?

puzZled,
fraNk