heart of dissatisfaction

grass is always greener somewhere else... or is it because I ate up the grass at my side?

-_-

sigh... sometimes I honestly wonder why life always feels like a broken, distorted mirror that never can be pieced together perfectly, with things that always fall apart... there will always be regrets, things undone, philosophies u wonder whether u should have adopted...

should i feel pathetic and sorry for myself that whilst all my frens are going steady and continuing lovely relationships with their gfs, I seem to be stuck in the pre-pubescent stage of playing LAN games, and obsessing over TV?

or should I just let things flow on their own course and just see my friends all start to become a faint memory due to their other commitments and then finally fade into obscurity due to neglect?

I tried very very hard, albeit too hard, then came to realise there's no point... it is life.. paths converge and diverge due to the circumstances of situations and well.. it's just like that...

and then it's the job thing as well... sometimes I really just think "heck liao.. just do whatever is needed and get outta there asap..." lost alot of interest liao, look at other people and their scenario and their interesting job scope whilst comparing with my own paltry schedule.. i really really wonder why do I even bother anymore...

but oh well.. i've learnt alot in NS, one which is that you are placed in a specific place by God's will for a specific purpose, and already I can see glimmers of the rationale behind why I am here in 3 sig bn as the QM.. and perhaps what I am supposed to do..

so i guess, just continuing living like this, not aimlessly but going with the flow, reacting when things come along, letting go when things drift apart, and accepting things that come my way...

fraNK
(who's sick agAin... bleah)